There are still barriers that prevent people from sharing their stories about miscarriages, yet one in four pregnancies end in one. Even though it’s possible (and likely) to have a full term pregnancy afterward, the cold hard facts don’t provide much comfort for someone who has had a miscarriage.
Each situation is unique and deeply personal. While sharing isn’t for everyone, learning about someone else’s experience can provide healing and relief. We want to highlight the strong, resilient, and at times, vulnerable women who have decided to speak up about what they’ve gone through.
Feeling misunderstood.
“With the benefit of hindsight, I know now what I didn’t know then, that the first weeks after a miscarriage are as messy as they are disorientating, with hormone crashes confusing your body and your psyche oscillating between emotions as it adjusts to a new and unexpected reality...it's still so rarely spoken about, shrouded in guilt, secrecy, fear, failure and shame. How could I express to others the connection a mother feels with an unborn child? Why didn’t people realize I wasn’t just mourning the loss of this being, but an entire imagined future together. Why didn’t anyone understand I hadn’t just lost a baby, I’d lost a part of myself.”
Read the entire essay in Vogue.
Lean on your support system.
“Lay your emotions out and support each other. My husband felt like he needed to be strong for me. When he finally admitted how devastated he was, it helped me feel less crazy — like a weight [had] lifted. If you talk about it openly, you may find that many people will share their story of loss with you as well. It happens more than anyone thinks and nobody talks about it. It’s not taboo.”
Read the entire article in Global News.
Strength in numbers.
“Even women I look up to with seemingly perfect lives and families revealed their secret stories of loss. Suddenly, I didn't feel so alone. I felt a strong sense of connection, sisterhood, and gratitude for being able to share my story, while encouraging other women to share theirs too.”
Read the entire article in Shape.
Smiling through the pain.
“Being an ESPN SportsCenter anchor and having my face seen by millions means I’ve had to fortify my mask to stay hidden. Once I was late for work after having a miscarriage that morning. I’d made up an irresponsible excuse and was subsequently reprimanded. But they had no idea, and the excuse was easier than the truth. I just couldn’t bring myself to say it. There have been countless times I’ve had to wipe my tears, fix my makeup, and push aside the pain of actually feeling my body reject my baby. I focused on doing my job while keeping those close to me at a distance with the thought that I was protecting them from my pain. Although they supported me, I knew they couldn’t relate.”
Read the entire article in Glamour.
Illustration by: Sacree Fangine